* Despite everything, it's still you. (
determinedest) wrote2016-02-01 10:14 pm
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You've reached Frisk. If I'm not answering my phone, please leave a message or find me on the second floor, Room 12.
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it was yours?
[A Mirror who hurt them in September. A Mirror who wanted to get rid of them.]
[Why? Why would they trust them? Why would anyone trust someone who was so obviously...]
[Well, it's not really about trust, is it? It's about a mutual goal. And it's not obvious. Not from the inside, is it? You can't see the forest when you're in the middle of it. You can only see it from the outside.]
[It's only when you leave and look back that you realize how lost you were.]
aw jeez frisk
i'm sorry.
[Is it the same with Mettaton, then?]
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So we tried our best.
[It didn't matter, in the end. It hardly mattered at all, what they'd done to hurt them. Because things would reach a conclusion, and if the goal was mutually assured destruction, what would the point be in pretending that wasn't what both of them wanted?
It's what they always must have wanted.
They're still a Frisk.
Despite everything.]
text
[Frisks, maybe all of them, want to remove themselves from the equation. Maybe the only variation is in how badly they want to do it.]
i should've figured it out sooner
or i should've at least asked.
[He didn't ask. He never asks. He just--he figured they wouldn't tell him. He figured they'd keep it a secret, maybe to protect whoever it was.]
i'm
this is going to sound weird
but i'm glad you failed.
text
[Is Mettaton's mirror - is he maybe doing the same thing? Maybe not to the same end, but the same function, the same process? For a mutually assured purpose. For something they can agree on.
But what.]
Who's "we"?
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[Where does this leave Mettaton, then? Is Mirrorton trying to off Mettaton as well, maybe--take his place or something? Stalkers are unreasonable, deluded. Sans can't really fathom what Mirrorton's end goal must be. But clearly whatever it is, it requires isolating Mettaton from...just about everyone else in his life.]
well
me and chara
after what happened we realized we needed to know who it was
so that something like that couldn't happen again
so we knew who to look out for
i guess we
or at least i
thought that you wouldn't just up and tell us who it was
you're kinda, you know
protective of people
[It was nice being on the same side as Chara. For a little while there. It ws nice almost being something like...]
i guess something like that *did* end up happening again anyway
if i'm right and mirrorton is doing something to metta
always comes back to mirrors doesn't it
[not sent] 1/2
You can't trust someone like them. Not to make their own decisions.
People know better.]
You could've asked.
[Stare at the message for a long, long moment.
Press the "delete" key, over and over, until it's utterly erased.]
text
text
it's like he's trying to isolate metta
and it's like metta doesn't think we care about him or something
or like he's trying to push us away but doesn't want to really?
at least that's what it's been like on my end.
[He could understand it if it was just him, if it was just Mettaton trying to distance himself from Sans. But that comment about not having real friendships was on a much broader scale.]
i just don't know anything for sure
like i said he just brushed me off when i tried bringing it up
like...he was covering for mirrorton or something.
text
The first person to prove that they knew his secret. That they were taking advantage of it. Never thought to tell him what they knew, and made things so much worse, for months.
The first person to push him away.
Whose fault is that, exactly?]
Something happened.
At his most vulnerable moment, he was there.
[He didn't make it easy, though. He didn't make it clean, cutting into someone's heart and SOUL and cleaving them to pieces. He worked his way in, instead. Settled down to make himself cozy. Not for a short-term burst of cooperation. That's a level of patience their own Mirror could never achieve.]
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[It makes horrible sense.]
[Getting to the point where you'll hold onto anything or anyone. You get vulnerable, you get desperate, and someone takes advantage. Isn't that exactly what happened with Frisk?]
[Isn't that what happened a long time ago, with...]
[Well, it doesn't matter.]
[It's just...he's Mettaton. Sans figured all that confidence wouldn't allow for something like this. That Mettaton was...different. From him, from Frisk, from the rest of them.]
[It's like he always assumed about Papyrus. How he always convinced himself that Papyrus was just happy all the time because he was just--like that. And he is, but there's more to it than that. Of course there is. Of course even someone like Papyrus has off days, moments of vulnerability. Everyone does. Absolutely everyone.]
[He made it worse, didn't he? He made it worse. He ignored the warning signs--just like last time. Figured it was just himself, when he should know better by now. Should know it's never about him. He made assumptions, like he always does, and he made it worse.]
[He always makes it worse. Why the hell does he keep trying? Why the hell did he let Wonderland convince him that he should just keep trying? Who is he kidding? He has never done anything to make anything better here. Not a single thing.]
[Why can't he just give up again?]
what do we do
text
Why's he asking them? They can - they're the one with the special power, still. The one who knows everything. The one who, with what little power they have, can still make things right.
The one who can recognize when something's gone this catastrophically wrong, because they were on the other side of it, once.
What do we do?
What do we do?]
Don't
Don't push him.
Makes him easier to use if he feels like we don't really care
[They'd know. Wouldn't they?]
What's he want?
The mirror
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i already messaged him and i pushed
[Oh god. Oh god, he's going to lose another one. He's going to lose someone else. It's happening all over again.]
[It's a Reset. It all keeps happening. It's never going to stop.]
[No. No, stop. It's not about you. It's not about you at all. It's about Mettaton. you didn't even save them for them, did you? Save Mettaton for Mettaton this time.]
[Only he can't save people. He doesn't save people. Even when he wants to, even when he actually tries.]
[Stop. Stop it. This isn't helping anyone.]
i don't know
he's a stalker, right?
stalkers want the person they're stalking all to themselves
he sounded really jealous when he messaged me.
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It worked with me. It might not work with him.
[They were just one person, and there was Chara on his side, and everyone else who worked with him to keep them here - will they have to do the same, all over again? Just - on the other side?
Maybe things will never need to get that far.
Knowing, in the heart of it, that they'll have to.]
He doesn't want us near him.
We can't leave him alone. Even if he pushes back.
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[And he can't just ask Frisk. He can't just act like Frisk must have all the answers. They're thirteen, for god's sake. He's the adult, he's supposed to--he's supposed to know. He's the guy who knows. That's all he is. That's the point of him. He's not a real person, he's just...the guy who's supposed to know.]
so we make sure we're there for him
and the others will want to help
napsta, alphys
i know chara and metta are good friends
i don't know about toriel or asgore
and he must have non-underground friends too right?
[But who? God, why doesn't Sans know these things?]
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One who pushes him too far. One who ends up hurting him, maybe more than anyone. Because how are they meant to be anything other than what they are - the one who pushes things to their limit, who tests every restriction, circumvents every boundary, breaks every Barrier, just because they can.
Because they can, they have to.]
Chara can help. He likes them.
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i've messaged chara and alphys already
but i dunno if chara's going to talk to me
if i can't do you mind letting them know what's going on?
[Chara might be the one best suited to this, which also isn't fair. Isn't fair to put that kind of burden on a kid. But maybe...Alphys would be best suited as well.]
alphys and chara together might be able to get through to him.
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[Why hasn't...
No one's been telling them. No one's been telling them that any of this has happened, and they - it's fine, right? It's not any of their business. Shouldn't talk about someone who's listening, right? It's not - it's not their fault, if someone doesn't want them to know things, and when did they ever start feeling like it was their business to know things anyway? It's not their business. It's never - they shouldn't stick their nose in where it isn't wanted.
That's not how it works here.
Why can't they be better at that.]
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some stuff happened during the lab event
and they got mad at me. for good reason
i tried to sort things out afterward but...
i'm not really sure where we stand right now.
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[The lab.
Chara wasn't okay, then. Things were uncomfortable, and they didn't feel as though they slotted into reality very well at all. Things got...strange, down there. Back home, and ongoing. They weren't right.
Of course something else went wrong.
Of course something else would have happened.]
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so
let me explain something first. just really quick.
i was
i was a weird kid
i was sick a lot. monsters don't really get sick but it was
i never really knew how else to describe it
long story short i was really weak
and i had no magic at all
and...any little thing could knock me on my butt and put me out of commission for days
so
chara found me in the lab and memoryhead was there
and it came up that
frisk i knew about the amalgamates
i'd been down there. alphys never knew
i broke in one time looking for her and i saw endogeny
i knew there were people stuck in that lab but i didn't know who they were, what they were or what had really happened
but either way, i never told anyone
they were down there and i did nothing
and chara
well you know
they're a better person than they pretend to be
they got angry
for knowing and just leaving them there, for invading alphys's privacy, for being afraid of memoryhead
all good reasons
and they started an encounter with memoryhead while i was there
i didn't really understand what was happening
but memoryhead reminded me of something
and being like i was at that age
well i kinda just
collapsed after dodging the first attack. and remembering what i remembered
everything's kind of a blur after that
i think i had some kind of seizure?
i really scared chara i think
probably scared memoryhead too.
so that's what happened.
text
They remember how he'd hidden among the foliage, when the adults came. Too weak to FIGHT. Couldn't risk it, when even a well-meaning grab could go wrong and reduce him to dust. He was hiding when they'd found him. Hiding from the Amalgamates, because even if they didn't mean to hurt anyone, even if an encounter could be harmless - it had the potential not to be.
Even the smallest potential can make things go wrong.
And he...
...]
You knew
[Lines. Lines in the code. Lines about are there any dogs inside I wouldn't rule it out lines about food dog food he had dog food in the shed and Alphys had a half empty bag half full bag you just thought of something funny you just remembered something funny it's so funny you can't stop
laughing.
They were mad.
They were mad that he knew they were mad that he knew but he - he knows everything. He knows everything. That's what he does. That's what he is. He knows everything. He knows - everything but Flowey, right? That was their fault. Ha ha. Their fault, like everything else is.
They were mad. They weren't just mad.
They must have been
scared.
He was in there. He was - did he see? Seeing something he shouldn't have seen? Turning away when every tape is done, knowing, in the pit of their snarled-up SOUL, that they weren't meant to be seeing this, the rosy cheeks, the flick of fur that signaled the presence of a soft white ear, the whispers of a plan that went horribly wrong.]
you saw
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[Ah.]
[Fucked it up again. Of course he did.]
[And now Frisk is going to hate him too.]
[Good. Good. That's probably how it should be.]
yeah
i saw endogeny
i knew there were people in there
and i did nothing
i never said a thing. not even to alphys
[Own it. Just own it. Don't try to worm out of it, because no one is above consequences, leas of all you. You deserve this. You deserve their hate, just like you deserve Chara's hate. Maybe this is finally it. Maybe he finally found a way to make Frisk stop forgiving him.]
[Maybe they can finally be free.]
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you had dog food
you made a joke about dogs
[Is that what that was? Just...another joke? A lie? A shift in the world's fabric, ripped apart by too many RESETs? Papyrus's battle body being made for a costume party a few weeks ago, while simultaneously being the only outfit he's ever had. Gerson never being a hero, and having been an old war hero since the very beginning.
Timelines jumping right and left.
Starting and stopping.
That's your fault, isn't it?]
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i pretended not to know why
well
technically i didn't actually know that the creature i'd seen was made up of dogs
i kinda booked it as soon as i saw them
but that doesn't make it any better
doesn't excuse anything.
by the time you showed up i knew more, but not very much
enough for a stupid joke at least
frisk if
if you hate me now that's okay
if you never want to speak to me again i will understand
chara and i cleared the air some but i'm not sure they're going to speak to me either
and that's okay
you're both good kids
and you deserve better than this
text 1/2
Mettaton. The Mirrors. Sans and Chara, conspiring - no. Not conspiring. Helping them. Knowing best for them. The lab they can't remember the name of, even if it was written in the files. Because Wonderland took it, didn't it. It took the name, and maybe it took other things too. The things they can't help, the people they can't SAVE, a list of names of things they still can't piece together, jokes about dog food, jokes about bags half empty, jokes about bags half full, jokes about knowing Alphys because doesn't everybody, jokes about special attacks being capable of blowing you away only those jokes weren't always there, were they? Were they? Were they always there were those jokes always there or was it just something that shouldn't have been there and only was after the fact was it always there was there always a joke about dogs? There should have been. There were...instances, weren't there? Gray doors that didn't exist, small grayscale monster children who beg you not to think about things anymore, but feel much better about this when you bring them an umbrella. That didn't used to happen until it did until it did.
It's too much, all at once.
Too much, too fast.
It spills across the floor.
It spills
Across the floor.]
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cw panic and emetophobia
fuck fuck fuck fuck
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