determinedest | ic inbox

so feel free to ignore this but

do you want pancakes

i made too many

[They're very, very awake right now. They've been awake since midnight. Or maybe they just never fell asleep.]

It's not weird at all! Were you making early morning pancakes again?

sort of.

[More like he woke up and saw the snow and, well.]

they're chocolate chip this time

less runny too

LOL! I guess practice makes perfect!

Where are you? Kitchen?

i guess

and yeah

no rush though

thinking of going back to sleep soon so

if you go by later you can always microwave 'em

[If they'd rather not see him, that'd be for the best. He's not entirely sure he's ready to see them, either, but whatever. He'll see what happens.]

It's ok. I'm not that tired.

[The end up there soon enough. They've got nothing better to do, ha ha. And Chara probably won't respond to them at all in the interim, but they're...they're going to leave their phone on, the ringer turned all the way up. Just in case.]

Sans?

[He's honestly not sure if they're trying to avoid him or not. They don't really seem to be. He's actually not sure of much of anything that's been going on in Wonderland. He's, uh, been sleeping a lot and generally avoiding everyone.]

[He's in the kitchen when they arrive, frying up the last of the pancake batter. There's already a stack on a plate, steaming gently. Sans looks...kind of like shit. He looks exactly like a guy who has spent the past week or so barely even getting out of bed. He's wearing his usual hoodie over an oversized T-shirt that says "World's Best Grandma."]

[He's mildly surprised that the kid shows up so quickly. Well. Maybe they're not avoiding him--or maybe they're just forcing themselves to interact. Kind of like he is.]

hey.

[He's grinning, but he's always grinning. The current one is fairly empty. Meaningless.]

[He gestures at the pancakes with the spatula.]

they're still hot.

[It's not his fault, really. He's had a hard few months, and it's difficult to really know if they're imposing upon him or not. It's safer to just keep their distance, but...that hasn't really ended up very well for Chara thus far.

Chara does not like them. Chara wants them to go to hell.]

Hello.

[Easy to smile for him now. It doesn't feel forced or wrong, or at least - not as much as it did when they didn't feel anything. They've made everything go so wrong so quickly, so they owe it to him, don't they? They owe it to him to try.

They boost themself up onto the counter, opting to avoid sitting at the table entirely.

Kitchens really are wonderful places.]

They smell really good!

[It occurs to him that this is...actually the first time he's seen them since Quor'toth. The first time he's seen them since all the shit that went down, and since they...died.]

[That's two now, right? Two tally marks. Two more tacked on the end of a few dozen, a few hundred. He can't remember. Has no way of keeping track, really, since it could be a Reload or it could be a Reset, and maybe they died or maybe they just messed something up and needed to fix it. Anyway, that notebook is back at home.]

[They're acting like nothing at all is wrong. He's been, uh, trying to hit his usual mark, but it's...it's a whole lot harder than usual lately.]

heh. [He gives a shrug.] thanks. they're less awful this time. help yourself.

[The last pancakes are done, so he slides them onto the plate and switches off the stove.]

...did you see if it's still snowing?

[Frisk goes ahead and piles some of them onto the plate. They came out fluffier this time, more like pancakes and less like crepes. Sans's cooking has improved. If Papyrus were still here, they could maybe make a joke.

But he isn't, so they don't.]

I thought they tasted pretty good last time.

[Dig fork into the treat, slice off a chunk, bite, and chew.

Chocolate chip. A pity, though, that it curls in their stomach so easily, like a worm that's shriveled up and died. Chocolate, like sweet things, as they learned with Zacharie, will always end up keyed to Chara.

A mistake. They swallow, even if the lump that threatens to swell in their throat makes it hard.]

I think so. It's been snowing all night.

think i put too much sugar in this time.

[He doesn't want to be here. Not in the kitchen. Not cooking. Cooking is Papyrus's thing. But this was proof. Proof of where he is. If this was Snowdin, Papyrus would be here already, making charcoal waffles and burning the coffee.]

[It still feels a bit foggy. A bit far off. Like he's not entirely sure he's actually here, actually awake.]

[He leaves the pan on the stove, since doing dishes is not at all his thing, and helps himself to a few pancakes. Boosts himself up onto the counter as well, on the opposite side of the stove from Frisk.]

it does this. snows once, then it sticks around till spring.

[He pauses with his fork already stuck in a pancake, remembering something.]

you weren't...here last year for this, were you. for the holidays. should probably warn you.

[He pokes at the pancake. He honestly doesn't have much appetite. Ketchup has sufficed for the last several days.]

wonderland kinda...pulls out all stops for the holidays. it was pretty intense last year. dunno what's in store this time, but, heh. knowing wonderland, it'll be bad.

[It tastes very sweet, it's true. Chara would be enjoying this, they think. They consider bringing them to Chara's door but - maybe they should offer them to Toriel instead. She could give them to Chara herself, or maybe just...maybe she likes sweet things herself.

It's easier to eat after that.]

I guess that makes sense.

[After Halloween, they add silently, but they don't say it. They look up at him with a skewed smile, vaguely hopeful, eyebrows lifted.]

Do you...have any hints, I guess?

christmas is pretty bad. from what i here, it's always some big thing, every year. last year this giant goat creature was running around throwing people in a dungeon. among other things.

[Sans also almost froze to death, which is quite a feat for a skeleton.]

[He tries a bite of pancake. Yeah, too sweet. Oh well. It's food.]

well, awful lot of white decorations out there, so...

[He thinks about it a moment, then shrugs.]

yeah, i got nothin'.

There's a saying about a white Christmas. A whole song about it.

[They're not sure if he's heard it. It's probably just a surface saying, since the monsters only had Gyftmas. Not the same as Christmas, even if it was similar enough.]

People were getting thrown in jail?

yeah? what's it mean?

[Christmas/Gyftmas was pretty specifically geared toward Snowdin, since Gyftrots didn't live anywhere else. The snow never melts there. You're always snowed-in in Snowdin.]

[He's glad there's no windows in the kitchen. It's easier in here. The kitchen is too big to mistake it for the one in their house back home. The sink is at the normal height, there's no small dogs hiding in any of the cupboards. No Papyrus.]

yeah. it was weird. it was something to do with christmas stories coming to life. i dunno.

I think it stood for snow, I guess. I'm not sure what else it would mean.

[A shrug, and they keep eating. They might be very sweet, but they're still good. The sugar will help them stay awake for longer. Sleeping is harder these days than before, even if it's - it's always hard.]

I guess we should expect anything.

oh. huh. yeah. guess that would be kind of a thing on the surface.

[Weather patterns and all. Maybe it's important to have snow on Christmas? It probably doesn't always happen. Given the fact that the planet is a sphere that rotates on an axis with one hemisphere always leaning toward the sun--]

[Anyway, whatever.]

problem is there's never any announcement, either. it just happens.

[So not how the other events work then. That's strange. But then, Halloween didn't get any announcements either. The candy just started changing things.

And Frisk took advantage of it in the worst, most hideous way possible.]

Maybe that's just how it is with holidays here?

heh. wonderland has a weird perception of what holidays should be.

[He finishes about half of one pancake and then sets the plate down, stifling a sigh.]

[Are you okay?

They don't ask it, though. He...isn't okay. They know that much. Papyrus is gone. He's alone. He hasn't been talking to them much.]

You never had Christmas Underground. Just Gyftmas. Right?

yeah, heh. [He folds his hands in his lap.] i remember last year people had to explain it to me. dipper and mabel had to explain hanukkah. we didn't have any of the religious stuff underground. just santa and presents and trees.

Yeah. Kinda funny how it ended up being the same as Christmas was on the surface anyway.

[Not funny, maybe. But...weird? Maybe not, when you consider that so much of monsters' understanding of humans came from whatever garbage fell in from the surface.]

funny how stuff like that works.

[He falls silent, staring at the floor.]

[He...should say something, shouldn't he. That's what a normal, functioning, decent person would do. Actually talk about all the shit that happened. Apologize, but what's the point of an apology when he's just going to let them down in the exact same way again and again? Ask if they're okay, but they're absolutely not okay, and they'll just lie if he asks them, just like he'll lie if they ask him. Tell them he forgives them, but that's just as empty as an apology, and that's assuming that they think they need to be forgiven, which they probably do, but he doesn't know. He never knows what's going on in their head.]

[Say something.]

how...how's chara?

[And then they end up like this. Frisk shrugs, and keeps their gaze trained on their pancakes. A bad choice, it turns out. They're chocolate. Like how Chara likes.]

I don't know. They won't talk to me.

Told me to go to hell.

[They try to smile. A good joke, right?]

F-funny. 'Cause how we...already went there.

...oh.

[Still, huh? He supposes Frisk trying to literally kill Chara didn't help matters. Not that they were entirely to blame. Who're the ones who made them undetermined after all, huh?]

[He folds his fingers together.]

yeah. funny.

[It's not funny.]

i'm...

[Apologies are worthless. Absolutely useless. Empty, meaningless words. No point. It's not about you, Sans. Who cares if you're sorry? What good does that do anyone?]

[Say something else.]

you're...the two of you are family. siblings. siblings fight. might take awhile, but you'll both resolve it eventually. things got...pretty messed up. so. just gotta give each other time.

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[text] 10/15, weirdly early in the morning

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