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[Frisk goes ahead and piles some of them onto the plate. They came out fluffier this time, more like pancakes and less like crepes. Sans's cooking has improved. If Papyrus were still here, they could maybe make a joke.

But he isn't, so they don't.]

I thought they tasted pretty good last time.

[Dig fork into the treat, slice off a chunk, bite, and chew.

Chocolate chip. A pity, though, that it curls in their stomach so easily, like a worm that's shriveled up and died. Chocolate, like sweet things, as they learned with Zacharie, will always end up keyed to Chara.

A mistake. They swallow, even if the lump that threatens to swell in their throat makes it hard.]

I think so. It's been snowing all night.

think i put too much sugar in this time.

[He doesn't want to be here. Not in the kitchen. Not cooking. Cooking is Papyrus's thing. But this was proof. Proof of where he is. If this was Snowdin, Papyrus would be here already, making charcoal waffles and burning the coffee.]

[It still feels a bit foggy. A bit far off. Like he's not entirely sure he's actually here, actually awake.]

[He leaves the pan on the stove, since doing dishes is not at all his thing, and helps himself to a few pancakes. Boosts himself up onto the counter as well, on the opposite side of the stove from Frisk.]

it does this. snows once, then it sticks around till spring.

[He pauses with his fork already stuck in a pancake, remembering something.]

you weren't...here last year for this, were you. for the holidays. should probably warn you.

[He pokes at the pancake. He honestly doesn't have much appetite. Ketchup has sufficed for the last several days.]

wonderland kinda...pulls out all stops for the holidays. it was pretty intense last year. dunno what's in store this time, but, heh. knowing wonderland, it'll be bad.

[It tastes very sweet, it's true. Chara would be enjoying this, they think. They consider bringing them to Chara's door but - maybe they should offer them to Toriel instead. She could give them to Chara herself, or maybe just...maybe she likes sweet things herself.

It's easier to eat after that.]

I guess that makes sense.

[After Halloween, they add silently, but they don't say it. They look up at him with a skewed smile, vaguely hopeful, eyebrows lifted.]

Do you...have any hints, I guess?

christmas is pretty bad. from what i here, it's always some big thing, every year. last year this giant goat creature was running around throwing people in a dungeon. among other things.

[Sans also almost froze to death, which is quite a feat for a skeleton.]

[He tries a bite of pancake. Yeah, too sweet. Oh well. It's food.]

well, awful lot of white decorations out there, so...

[He thinks about it a moment, then shrugs.]

yeah, i got nothin'.

There's a saying about a white Christmas. A whole song about it.

[They're not sure if he's heard it. It's probably just a surface saying, since the monsters only had Gyftmas. Not the same as Christmas, even if it was similar enough.]

People were getting thrown in jail?

yeah? what's it mean?

[Christmas/Gyftmas was pretty specifically geared toward Snowdin, since Gyftrots didn't live anywhere else. The snow never melts there. You're always snowed-in in Snowdin.]

[He's glad there's no windows in the kitchen. It's easier in here. The kitchen is too big to mistake it for the one in their house back home. The sink is at the normal height, there's no small dogs hiding in any of the cupboards. No Papyrus.]

yeah. it was weird. it was something to do with christmas stories coming to life. i dunno.

I think it stood for snow, I guess. I'm not sure what else it would mean.

[A shrug, and they keep eating. They might be very sweet, but they're still good. The sugar will help them stay awake for longer. Sleeping is harder these days than before, even if it's - it's always hard.]

I guess we should expect anything.

oh. huh. yeah. guess that would be kind of a thing on the surface.

[Weather patterns and all. Maybe it's important to have snow on Christmas? It probably doesn't always happen. Given the fact that the planet is a sphere that rotates on an axis with one hemisphere always leaning toward the sun--]

[Anyway, whatever.]

problem is there's never any announcement, either. it just happens.

[So not how the other events work then. That's strange. But then, Halloween didn't get any announcements either. The candy just started changing things.

And Frisk took advantage of it in the worst, most hideous way possible.]

Maybe that's just how it is with holidays here?

heh. wonderland has a weird perception of what holidays should be.

[He finishes about half of one pancake and then sets the plate down, stifling a sigh.]

[Are you okay?

They don't ask it, though. He...isn't okay. They know that much. Papyrus is gone. He's alone. He hasn't been talking to them much.]

You never had Christmas Underground. Just Gyftmas. Right?

yeah, heh. [He folds his hands in his lap.] i remember last year people had to explain it to me. dipper and mabel had to explain hanukkah. we didn't have any of the religious stuff underground. just santa and presents and trees.

Yeah. Kinda funny how it ended up being the same as Christmas was on the surface anyway.

[Not funny, maybe. But...weird? Maybe not, when you consider that so much of monsters' understanding of humans came from whatever garbage fell in from the surface.]

funny how stuff like that works.

[He falls silent, staring at the floor.]

[He...should say something, shouldn't he. That's what a normal, functioning, decent person would do. Actually talk about all the shit that happened. Apologize, but what's the point of an apology when he's just going to let them down in the exact same way again and again? Ask if they're okay, but they're absolutely not okay, and they'll just lie if he asks them, just like he'll lie if they ask him. Tell them he forgives them, but that's just as empty as an apology, and that's assuming that they think they need to be forgiven, which they probably do, but he doesn't know. He never knows what's going on in their head.]

[Say something.]

how...how's chara?

[And then they end up like this. Frisk shrugs, and keeps their gaze trained on their pancakes. A bad choice, it turns out. They're chocolate. Like how Chara likes.]

I don't know. They won't talk to me.

Told me to go to hell.

[They try to smile. A good joke, right?]

F-funny. 'Cause how we...already went there.

...oh.

[Still, huh? He supposes Frisk trying to literally kill Chara didn't help matters. Not that they were entirely to blame. Who're the ones who made them undetermined after all, huh?]

[He folds his fingers together.]

yeah. funny.

[It's not funny.]

i'm...

[Apologies are worthless. Absolutely useless. Empty, meaningless words. No point. It's not about you, Sans. Who cares if you're sorry? What good does that do anyone?]

[Say something else.]

you're...the two of you are family. siblings. siblings fight. might take awhile, but you'll both resolve it eventually. things got...pretty messed up. so. just gotta give each other time.

[He's out of his depth. It's painfully apparent, and they shouldn't have said anything. But still, even if they told a lie, he could've always corroborated with Chara to make sure. Assuming he's even still talking to them. Or they're still talking to him.

Family. Siblings. It's a good thing they've had such practice schooling their features into emptiness over the past month. It's simple enough now.]

It's all right, Sans. They don't love me anymore. I wasn't the greatest person.

[But Frisk...

Frisk can give them the partner they always wished they had.]

[All siblings fight, even the ones who love each other with all their soul. Or heart, as the case may be.]

[He glances over at them at the words. That's...alarming. To put it mildly.]

are you sure that's true? that doesn't sound right.

[Frisk is the one thing that Sans is pretty sure Chara will always love. Them and Asriel.]

they might just be trying to push you away.

I thought so too. But they said I hurt them, and I did.

[They've used everything against them. Every trick, every trap. Broken every promise. And now they're stuck. Stuck being unable to move forward or back, stuck being wholly unable to form a sharp-edged end for themself, because then Chara will follow.]

I pushed them. I wouldn't let them tell me no. I acted very wrong to them, and they don't think I'm their Partner anymore.

So I guess I'm not.

well, yeah.

[He thinks Frisk might mean something else, but yeah, he's pretty sure stabbing someone in the chest counts as hurting them.]

but if people stopped being family every time they hurt each other, there'd be no such thing as family.

[He pauses. He doubts he has any right to offer advice, especially when it's unsolicited. It's not like either of the kids listen to him very much anyway.]

just...give it time, maybe.

[God he's bad at this. This isn't helping. Frisk isn't the most patient of kids. They don't like waiting. They don't like the idea that bad things can just continue and continue, and that you can't fix it immediately, by saying the right words at the right time, or by Reloading and doing it right the next time.]

[Maybe that's why they've never had family before, ha ha. Nominally, maybe, but they weren't really people who must have wanted them. And the people they hurt over and over again - eventually, they wise up. And they never come back.

It makes sense.]

Sometimes there's no coming back from it.

[Some things you just don't come back from at all. Wouldn't he know that?]

I'm not above consequences.

you haven't gained any LOVE.

[He can always tell.]

this isn't one of those times. not yet.

[There's still...well, it feels stupid to even think it, but there's still hope.]

That was...

[Well. They have Leonard to thank for that. Even if he hasn't talked to them very much. Maybe he will soon. They can really only hope.]

You don't need LOVE to hurt someone, Sans.

[They both know that rather well.]

[Quietly,] i know.

[They both know it.]

well. [He slides off the counter, abandoning his half-eaten plate of pancakes.] can't tell you what to do.

[Can't even apparently give them advice anymore.]

[Said the wrong thing again. Ruined it again. Can't...ha ha, can't do anything right. Keep driving the people they love away.

Maybe that's for the best.

Frisk sets their plate aside too. They're not very hungry anymore.]

I guess not. No.

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punful - 2016-12-18 06:21 (UTC) - Expand

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