determinedest: (* You hum a farewell song.)
* Despite everything, it's still you. ([personal profile] determinedest) wrote2016-02-01 10:14 pm
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You've reached Frisk. If I'm not answering my phone, please leave a message or find me on the second floor, Room 12.

( text | audio | video | or literally anything )
fulllifeconsequences: (Must be some kind of abstinence)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-16 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
Golly. Perhaps we'd have been wiser to make something from a boxed mix.

[They remark, airily, getting themselves into a rhythm of cracking eggs and discarding the shells in a steadily-growing pile. They're hardly getting any shell fragments in the mixing bowl at all!]

Oh! And butter. Is butter a wet or a dry ingredient?

[Butter. Cups of butter. Doesn't matter, doesn't matter. It's not a pie. It's fine.]

...Let's call it wet. I'll add the butter, since I'm already doing the milk. Oh - and speaking of... are we going to make our own frosting, or are we going to pull some ready-made cans out? Because if we're using cans, I'd like to suggest the rainbow sprinkle kind.
fulllifeconsequences: (* You call this a performance?)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-16 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
Much better.

[Because they're baking in a very silly manner, ha ha! Not following a recipe at all! That's it. That's the sole reason. And anyway, rainbow sprinkles are fun and whimsical.

(He loved rainbows. He probably would have tried to put frosting on a pie if he could. He would have only made something silly and cute and harmless if Chara hadn't been there with him, surely.)

They duck their head, search through the drawers, pluck out two spoons. Smile brightly.]


Of course, we'll still have to taste test it, won't we? If we're already being bad, then we might as well eat it right out of the tub!

[See? Fun. This is still fun, and it's going to stay fun. This is just a little speed bump to force yourself over.]
fulllifeconsequences: (* Endless cycle of worthless garbage)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-16 08:36 pm (UTC)(link)
If it makes good ice cream, then I guess it must make good icing?

[Wouldn't know; haven't tried. They slide one of the spoons down the counter, over to Frisk. Flash them a bright smile as they start just... dumping some milk into their egg heap.]

Eat a spoonful of it. I dare you to. Someone's got to ascertain if it's gross or not, right?
fulllifeconsequences: (That I don't want to know)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-16 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
"Not what I expected" in a good way, or a bad way?

[Frisk can have fun with that. Chara's going straight for the rainbow sprinkle tub and just... shovelling a spoonful right into their horrible goblin face. A massive gob of pure unadulterated sugar goop. They're doing it, and nothing can stop them.]

Think it'd go with chocolate cake? I'd hate to ruin our doubtlessly-flawless rolls with the wrong icing!
fulllifeconsequences: (* You are superfast at being wrong!)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-16 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[They know Frisk - and how much Frisk has picked up from them - well enough to not trust that smile for a second. But it's just frosting, right? So they make a very proper show of running their spoon under the sink a bit, making sure it's Clean and Sanitary and that their disgusting corn-syrup-glop snorfling is all very well-mannered and proper.

And then they take a spoonful. And then they eat it. And then their face scrunches up like they'd just tried to eat a sponge soaked in dish soap. They're not a fan of pistachio ice cream, so why did they expect to like it as frosting? It's just weird and artificial and chemically and BAD.]


Ew. It sucks.
fulllifeconsequences: (* Has a distinct non-licorice flavor.)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-16 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I cannot believe you would convince me to try this. Truly, our friendship is pistachiover.

[Bad jokes make Frisk laugh. Make them snortle. Let them keep snortling, keep having fun. Chara's just going to very carefully unwrap an entire stick of butter and dump it in the bowl.

...Two sticks of butter. Because doing it twice makes it feel extra-sure. More secure. Double-checked.

...

Three sticks of butter.]


I'm sticking to confetti. Never again will I stray from the one true path.
fulllifeconsequences: (* Ab Quiche)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-17 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
[Chara, of course, is too sophisticated to laugh at their own jokes, so they just settle for smiling faintly at the round of chuckles they've coaxed out of their partner. But then Frisk looks over and says that, and there are floury handprints on their face where they'd pressed their hands over their mouth, and Chara just snorts. But, like, in a sophisticated way.]

* You notice a tub of icing hidden behind the pillar.

[They roll their eyes playfully as they get to work mixing, mashing all that butter up into oblivion. ...Feels good. Harmless, relieving exertion of force.]

You usually didn't need help like that on puzzles, especially not the Ruins ones. I never did understand how we had so much trouble with switches that were just... out in plain sight.
fulllifeconsequences: (Must be some kind of abstinence)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-17 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
[They cant their head to one side, trying to recall. They remember seeing the color of each switch, plain as day. Knowing it like it was obvious. But they also... remember going out of their way to state the color of each switch. Remember giving the hint, like they knew Frisk needed help seeing that the switch was behind a pillar (even if it was actually kind of to the side of a pillar, wasn't it?)

Why would they know that? Why was the hint where the switch was, and not something about the order?]


...It was kind of weird that there were those "if you can read this" signs up, to begin with. That wasn't a puzzle that made a lot of sense.

[Just like the room with a bunch of little cracked-floor compartments, with only one hiding a switch needed to proceed. How were you supposed to know what was underneath the floor?]

Er, the wet ingredients are all mixed. You ready with the dry ones?
fulllifeconsequences: (If they're just too young)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-17 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
Alright. Hold it steady, and keep stirring. I'm adding the wet.

[They say, as they attempt to heave this big bowl of liquids and butter and just... dump it on in there.

They might be wiry for their age (or possible lack thereof), but it's a heavy bowl. What ensues is basically an egg-milk-vanilla-butter tsunami.]
fulllifeconsequences: (* It's a snow poff.)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-17 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[Maybe there's too much flour after all? They debate whether to try and dump in more milk or something, or if it's entirely possible to make a reasonably tasty cake out of a dough instead of a batter.

It's probably fine! It'll smooth out once it's a little more mixed, right?]


You're not gonna let a cake outmuscle you, are you? Stick it to that baked good! Charge it with assault and battery! Stop petting the enemy!!

[Okay, it's not as motivational as when Undyne does it, but Chara's not supposed to be admitting anything Undyne does is motivational, anyway. She's a hero, Chara's a villain.]

Or I guess if you're tired, you can let the stronger half handle it. These sick pythons aren't just for show.
fulllifeconsequences: (* No one is happy with this.)

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[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-18 06:14 am (UTC)(link)
Oh.

[Chara stares, bewildered, at the chunk of spoon stub still cemented into the... can it still be called batter at this point?]

Um. Well! Seems like it's all mixed! Better get this poured out into a pan!

[Before it sets and has to be pried out of the bowl with a crowbar.]
fulllifeconsequences: (system_information_963)

cw flashback, panic attack

[personal profile] fulllifeconsequences 2016-10-18 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
[Splinter-flavor. Of course there's - it doesn't just snap off cleanly. There's bits of wood in there. Sharp little thorns that will tear up your inside.

It's not safe to eat.

It's contaminated.

It's poisoned.

Why didn't they think of that? It's obvious it's no good, why didn't they think? They were gonna bake it up and serve it and anyone who trusted the enough to eat it would... ha ha, they would...

Their throat feels like it's clamped shut.

He's sick, he's going to die, they'll have murdered him after everything he did for a human, for one of the creatures who killed his friends and drove him Underground. Asriel's crying and Mom is furious and they know what happens when you make a parent angry. All they can think is finally, it's finally happened, this was all too perfect to last and of course you ruined it all, they're a land mine and they've stepped on themself and set themself off and their throat is so, so tight that every breath feels like nails scraping against their esophagus, like a drowning body trying to claw its way out of quicksand. They're staring at the floor in New Home, at the grayish hardwood in the hall, and the air smells like sickness and Pine-sol and why are they fixating on something as stupid as that at a time like this? Asriel would never have done anything this bad on his own, it's because of them, it was their doing, he's sick and he's going to die.

There's a horrible rigidity seizing them, and they have to duck their head because their eyes burn and it's awful and humiliating and their smile is a tense awful thing. Don't breathe so loud. You're breathing too loud. Don't do anything weird, don't make it weird, don't be so dramatic. Always thirsty for attention, always overreacting. It's a perfectly innocent remark about a perfectly innocent mistake and none of this is a big deal so just be normal, why can't you be normal about this? Nobody's sick, nobody's going to eat it, it's not a pie, this is supposed to be fun!! Why can't you let this be fun?

Chara starts to giggle.

You put in butter this time. You double-checked. You did it three times over, repeated it so you were really sure. It's not a pie. You tried this time. (It happened anyway. It wasn't enough.)

They keep laughing, maybe a little too hard. Maybe it isn't as funny as they're making it out to be. Big, raw-throated laughs, heaving ones, the kind that are turning into airless little hiccuping spasms and that's not normal, that's creepy, stop doing that. Stop it. Put the brakes on - on all of yourself. Stop!

They - they were asked a question. Answer. Stop laughing and answer. Stop making this about yourself, stop sucking all the fun out of the room.]


No!

[It comes out weird, strained, only yanked out of them through a supreme effort, because their stupid selfish attention-starved body doesn't know how to breathe anymore, keeps sabotaging itself, tries to insist on locking up and laughing and straining for air and talking at the same time and none of it seems to be working, nothing's working.]

No, we - don't want that!

cw continues whoooo

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