* Despite everything, it's still you. (
determinedest) wrote2016-02-01 10:14 pm
Entry tags:
ic inbox


You've reached Frisk. If I'm not answering my phone, please leave a message or find me on the second floor, Room 12.
( text | audio | video | or literally anything )

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[Frisk offers the canister of the stuff with a perfectly innocent smile. It's not totally horrible, and anyway, Chara might make a hilarious face.]
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And then they take a spoonful. And then they eat it. And then their face scrunches up like they'd just tried to eat a sponge soaked in dish soap. They're not a fan of pistachio ice cream, so why did they expect to like it as frosting? It's just weird and artificial and chemically and BAD.]
Ew. It sucks.
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* Indescribable.
[Which immediately gives way to a peal of wicked laughter. Or, more semantically accurately: wicked snorting. Snorting and chortling in equal measure. Snortling.
They're doing lots of it.]
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[Bad jokes make Frisk laugh. Make them snortle. Let them keep snortling, keep having fun. Chara's just going to very carefully unwrap an entire stick of butter and dump it in the bowl.
...Two sticks of butter. Because doing it twice makes it feel extra-sure. More secure. Double-checked.
...
Three sticks of butter.]
I'm sticking to confetti. Never again will I stray from the one true path.
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Frisk stops long enough to manage:]
Pistachio ones, chocolate ones - they walk not the middle road!
[And their valiantly-maintained straight face dissolves all over again.]
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* You notice a tub of icing hidden behind the pillar.
[They roll their eyes playfully as they get to work mixing, mashing all that butter up into oblivion. ...Feels good. Harmless, relieving exertion of force.]
You usually didn't need help like that on puzzles, especially not the Ruins ones. I never did understand how we had so much trouble with switches that were just... out in plain sight.
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I dunno, [they say, thoughtfully.] It just felt like...I dunno, it didn't feel obvious at all. I guess now it does but...it really didn't back then, did it?
[They wonder if their head is going to start to hurt, the way it did during the conversation with Zacharie's Mirror. They'd hope not. That hadn't been very much fun for everyone.]
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Why would they know that? Why was the hint where the switch was, and not something about the order?]
...It was kind of weird that there were those "if you can read this" signs up, to begin with. That wasn't a puzzle that made a lot of sense.
[Just like the room with a bunch of little cracked-floor compartments, with only one hiding a switch needed to proceed. How were you supposed to know what was underneath the floor?]
Er, the wet ingredients are all mixed. You ready with the dry ones?
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Easier than thinking about switches and pillars and things.]
All ready!
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[They say, as they attempt to heave this big bowl of liquids and butter and just... dump it on in there.
They might be wiry for their age (or possible lack thereof), but it's a heavy bowl. What ensues is basically an egg-milk-vanilla-butter tsunami.]
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It's no matter, though. The stirring continues. They are Determined to keep stirring, gosh darn it.]
It's getting harder. [They're even panting a little with the effort it takes to mix the solids in with the liquids, but they're putting every scrap of muscle they can into the action.]
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It's probably fine! It'll smooth out once it's a little more mixed, right?]
You're not gonna let a cake outmuscle you, are you? Stick it to that baked good! Charge it with assault and battery! Stop petting the enemy!!
[Okay, it's not as motivational as when Undyne does it, but Chara's not supposed to be admitting anything Undyne does is motivational, anyway. She's a hero, Chara's a villain.]
Or I guess if you're tired, you can let the stronger half handle it. These sick pythons aren't just for show.
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Their tongue sticks out the side of their mouth with the effort, because they're going to see this through, they've already sworn that oath to themself.]
I can do it! I'm stirring with all my passion!
[STIR HARDER!!!
HARDER!!!!!!!
HARD - oh.
The wooden spoon they're using snaps, having mired itself very thoroughly in the batter that is rapidly becoming more gluelike in nature.]
...oh.
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[Chara stares, bewildered, at the chunk of spoon stub still cemented into the... can it still be called batter at this point?]
Um. Well! Seems like it's all mixed! Better get this poured out into a pan!
[Before it sets and has to be pried out of the bowl with a crowbar.]
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[Frisk plucks at the stub of the spoon that's now firmly mired in the batter that's definitely more approaching "cement" on the viscous, rapidly-setting end of the spectrum. Extricating it from the batter is turning out to be a much more complicated endeavor than they realize.]
Do we want splinter-flavor in there?
cw flashback, panic attack
It's not safe to eat.
It's contaminated.
It's poisoned.
Why didn't they think of that? It's obvious it's no good, why didn't they think? They were gonna bake it up and serve it and anyone who trusted the enough to eat it would... ha ha, they would...
Their throat feels like it's clamped shut.
He's sick, he's going to die, they'll have murdered him after everything he did for a human, for one of the creatures who killed his friends and drove him Underground. Asriel's crying and Mom is furious and they know what happens when you make a parent angry. All they can think is finally, it's finally happened, this was all too perfect to last and of course you ruined it all, they're a land mine and they've stepped on themself and set themself off and their throat is so, so tight that every breath feels like nails scraping against their esophagus, like a drowning body trying to claw its way out of quicksand. They're staring at the floor in New Home, at the grayish hardwood in the hall, and the air smells like sickness and Pine-sol and why are they fixating on something as stupid as that at a time like this? Asriel would never have done anything this bad on his own, it's because of them, it was their doing, he's sick and he's going to die.
There's a horrible rigidity seizing them, and they have to duck their head because their eyes burn and it's awful and humiliating and their smile is a tense awful thing. Don't breathe so loud. You're breathing too loud. Don't do anything weird, don't make it weird, don't be so dramatic. Always thirsty for attention, always overreacting. It's a perfectly innocent remark about a perfectly innocent mistake and none of this is a big deal so just be normal, why can't you be normal about this? Nobody's sick, nobody's going to eat it, it's not a pie, this is supposed to be fun!! Why can't you let this be fun?
Chara starts to giggle.
You put in butter this time. You double-checked. You did it three times over, repeated it so you were really sure. It's not a pie. You tried this time. (It happened anyway. It wasn't enough.)
They keep laughing, maybe a little too hard. Maybe it isn't as funny as they're making it out to be. Big, raw-throated laughs, heaving ones, the kind that are turning into airless little hiccuping spasms and that's not normal, that's creepy, stop doing that. Stop it. Put the brakes on - on all of yourself. Stop!
They - they were asked a question. Answer. Stop laughing and answer. Stop making this about yourself, stop sucking all the fun out of the room.]
No!
[It comes out weird, strained, only yanked out of them through a supreme effort, because their stupid selfish attention-starved body doesn't know how to breathe anymore, keeps sabotaging itself, tries to insist on locking up and laughing and straining for air and talking at the same time and none of it seems to be working, nothing's working.]
No, we - don't want that!
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They know something's wrong because even if there's been that thin veneer of caution veiling everything the both of them have done, the delicate stepping around of pointed subjects (buttercups instead of butter, dust instead of flour, dirt instead of chocolate), something's just catapulted this from innocent to not-so-innocent. It's stark in the way Chara tenses up, their whole body locking into place, shaking, shaking, shaking, laughing in that loud and pained and juddering fashion that hurts, it's like claws dragged across their ears.
Frisk puts the bowl down. It clicks quietly on the countertop. Frisk pushes the broken half of the spoon away. It rasps as it scrapes over the flat surface.
There's not a modicum of control to the way the words burst from Chara's throat, and Frisk knows panic. They know panic because they've seen it, they've seen it dozens of times before, felt it during their very worst days.]
We don't have to.
[They keep their voice pitched low, the words soft, as they turn to face them. Offer their hands, palms upward and open, if Chara needs them.]
It's okay.
It's just butter and flour.
cw continues whoooo
They try holding their breath. If you can't do it right, you don't get to do it at all, so better smarten up! Just get rid of it entirely if it's going to be too loud, too lurching, too wheezy. Doesn't work. Starved body defies them, erupts into some kind of horrible too-loud gasp. Sounds like a dying animal. Sounds like they're dying. Are they dying?
Why are they so dramatic? Why are they thinking that, why are they acting like this? Don't be so extra, Chara. Don't be the reason we can't have nice things. What kind of histrionic spoiled brat goes all to pieces because a stupid half-assed midnight cake doesn't go perfectly? Oh, wah-wah, poor Chara! Your first world little life is so hard, huh? Losing your damn mind over cake! Cake! Making Frisk shower you in pitying little its-okays because you didn't get your way!]
Throw - it - out.
[It's a herculean task to spit those three syllables out. They want to make it sound bored, like they've just decided this isn't interesting anymore. They want to tack on a joke. They want to be normal, for the love of God, just be normal! Why can't they just shut themselves up?!]
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Throw it out.
It sounds like an unbearable effort for Chara to get their voice to work, just to say that much, just to pull everything together for long enough.
Frisk reacts immediately, without hesitation.
Scoop up the bowl in both hands, carry it to the trash. Drop the whole thing inside with a satisfying clunk. They don't care if they're throwing out the bowl too - Wonderland will compensate, and replace it all later. And then they cast down the broken pieces of the spoon, any extra ingredients scattered around, just for good measure.
The white powder scattered over their shirt and hair still feels too much like the strange, staticky cling of dust. There's nothing to do about it right now. So Frisk pulls up a chair and sits opposite Chara, speaking quietly.]
It's okay. It's okay, Chara. It's gone. It's all gone. It's never coming back.
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This is stupid. This is such a stupid thing to get worked up over. What kind of stupid person decides to act like this over nothing at all? They squeeze their eyes shut, clamp their hands over their head, like they can just... just crush all this horribleness. Close themselves up so tightly none of this humiliating, manipulative, downright unstable distress can possibly leak out.
Talking's too hard. Cannot fight, cannot think, can't move your body. They just stay put, trembling and rigid and frozen, for - they don't know how long. It feels like years, but it could be minutes, seconds, hours? Just... stay put, curled up, not existing, insisting to themself that it's gone, Frisk said so, it's gone, it won't hurt anyone, nobody is going to get sick, until their breathing starts to regain some regularity.]
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They're not sure what else to do, though. Sitting on a chair with their knees drawn up, trying not to stare and make sure Chara isn't about to bury their fingers into their arms as if that might shred the skin from the bones in a single shearing motion. They consider each possibility for what to do next and discard it in turn, until they settle upon something...ha, something harmless. Maybe.]
Hey. Chara.
[And they try to smile, faintly - not hopefully. They don't have to smile back. They just have to keep them here for now.]
What do you call bees that make milk?
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Freaks of nature?
[The answer is muffled. They curl in on themselves, knees to chest, forehead pressed against their kneecaps. Willing the inexplicable dampness out of their eyes before it can form itself into tears, because what is there to even cry about? They never cry. They have no reason to cry. It's just a cake. Who even cares? Stop being so weird! Don't make this more uncomfortable than it already is!]
1/2
[Freaks of nature, ha ha, like us. But they don't say it. Instead they shrivel up, hands scrunching into the fabric of their shorts in preparation for this stupid, stupid punchline.]
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Boo-bees.
[It's such a stupid joke. It's so stupid it's hilarious, and they giggle faintly, even if it's bad form to laugh at your own jokes. They almost add something like, don't tell Toriel, but that'd be...that'd probably make things worse.]
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They bite their lip, because they're a little afraid of what might happen if they start laughing again. Like maybe it'll rev them back up, and they'll turn back into a mean-spirited horrible giggling idiot.
It coaxes a snort out of them nonetheless.]
That's awful.
[They shift a little, scrub their sleeve over their eyes just in case, but they don't really need to. Their eyes are dry. They're in control.]
Do we still have the frosting? We can just eat that, maybe.
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(a very hidden) csa allusion cw
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abuse allusion cw also This Kid Is On A Roll
please help these kids
PLEASE
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