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[determinedest]

You've reached Frisk. If I'm not answering my phone, please leave a message or find me on the second floor, Room 12.

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[determinedest]

[...

...they're not sure how to respond to that tactfully. Because death isn't exactly "everlasting" here.]

Would you settle for a lifetime's supply of chocolate?

[fulllifeconsequences]

That's a lot of chocolate, Frisk.

[Especially when your lifetime actually somehow ends up lasting forever! That would be INFINITY amount of chocolate.

...They might be sort of kind of fiddling with their phone, still, but not to pester Frisk. To subtly and inobtrusively mash a "25th" out to Sans without looking at their screen.]

I'm not telling you anything I want unless you can think of something you want. You're going to have to get used to having birthdays every single year from now on, after all.

[determinedest]

Even if we're not actually aging?

[How old are they, theoretically, now? Chara's been around for way longer, and after all the timelines they've been through together, who can even tell?]

Umm. I - I don't know. I guess I've never really thought about it.

[fulllifeconsequences]

If aging's a requisite, then I'm disqualified no matter where we are. So are Toriel and Asgore. Are you going to tell Toriel and Asgore they aren't allowed to have birthdays anymore?

[For shame, Frisk!]

If you don't ask for anything, then maybe I'll tell everyone to get you something horrible. Maybe you'll get nothing but socks.

[determinedest]

Socks are nice, though! Some of them have funny little patterns on them!

[They wiggle their toes indicatively. For instance: the socks they're wearing now have little skeletons on them. Isn't that neat?]

C'mon, I'm new at birthdays too!

[fulllifeconsequences]

[Chara gasps and recoils, the very picture of moral outrage.]

Frisk! That's scandalous!

[They flop back on their bed, let their arms and legs stretch out at nothing, let them flop limply down. Almost... relaxed, kind of.]

How about... a life-size cardboard cut-out of Mettaton. You can practice smooching ghosts with it!

[determinedest]

[Never gonna let them live that down, are you, Chara?]

We'd better hope Mettaton doesn't show up here, then. He'd probably fall in love with it!

[fulllifeconsequences]

[N E V E R. It's their solemn duty to tease about icky stuff like smooches. It's in the contract. The contract that they definitely didn't just make up right here and now.]

I can't even argue that. That's the most right and accurate thing I've ever heard. He'd probably carry it around everywhere he goes.

...Distinctly non-sock clothing, then? Something that isn't a striped shirt? ...Video games? A cookbook?

[determinedest]

I guess some games would be pretty nice. I liked those puzzles, back in Snowdin and Hotland and stuff?

[They sit up in their bed, grinning.]

There, I answered! Your turn! What do you want.

[fulllifeconsequences]

[Games. Puzzles. ...The puzzles weren't bad, they guess. It was kind of fun to challenge themselves. But sometimes Frisk took so long, and the colored switches in the Ruins weren't even hard, and Chara's only so patient, and aren't you just kind of being made a fool of if you already know you don't need to solve half of Papyrus' puzzles, and Hotland's are only in the way because Alphys is manipulating you into thinking she's cool?

...They sort of realize they're not answering the question. They glance at Frisk. Have no idea how to answer. Just sort of... fumble to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, because it doesn't really matter what they say, right? As long as they say something.]

Crayons.

[AUGH. That's such a baby answer! That's the babiest answer that could ever exist! Crayons are for kindergarteners. They don't even DRAW anymore, they just thought of a drawer of flower seeds and broken crayons, and - augh!]

Wait. No. Can I change my answer?

[determinedest]

[...crayons? Like, ah! Like the colored pictures that hung from the walls of Home and New Home. Obviously Chara's handiwork, and Chara's love of golden plants. Frisk giggles a little bit, but nods.]

'Course you can!

[fulllifeconsequences]

[What's a suitably grown-up thing to want? They don't want toys. They don't think they like sports or games, because you can't play those alone, and it's not like unpleasant children who play too rough get invited to join in on dodgeball too often. Hmm.

...A plant for the windowsill? Too morbid, considering the plant they both miss, maybe. Golden flowers might be too dark, too, now that their favourites are so thoroughly associated with death and tragedy.]

Tea? Some, like... I don't know. Fancy tea.

[determinedest]

[Well, this place does have plenty of tearooms, so that leads them to believe there's going to be a lot of variety where tea is concerned. Frisk nods contemplatively. Sounds like Chara takes after their dad, a little bit.]

Okay! Tea. Good...fancy tea.

[The pull out a notebook and start writing it down, pencil scratching over paper.]

[fulllifeconsequences]

...You're writing it down.

[determinedest]

I want to remember! And I'm going to make a list.

[fulllifeconsequences]

A list of what? Top 10 Most Pointless Things Ever?

[determinedest]

Of things you like! So I can always remember how to cheer you up!

[fulllifeconsequences]

[Good thing Chara's already laying down, because they surely would not be able to remain standing after such a grievous blow. At their most vulnerable moment!

They roll away from Frisk, turn their back. Kind of just scrunch into the wall. Cover their face with their hands, and make a weird muffled sound that maybe intended to be a laugh or a shriek or a groan, but kind of... only really qualifies as noise.]

I can't believe you, Frisk!

[determinedest]

What? You think I wouldn't wanna know how to cheer up my friiiiiiiend?

[They're poking fun, but they're still writing, too. They're compiling a list of things Chara might appreciate as birthday gifts. Knitting needles, some really nice colorful yarns, high-quality chocolate bars...]

[fulllifeconsequences]

[Another anguished weird noise. A note of pure and utter embarrassment. The sap levels here are lethal. They're about to reach critical mass. Chara bolts up from their bed and across the room, entirely willing to nobly and selflessly sacrifice Frisk's entire concept of personal space in order to read over their shoulder.]

Joke's on you, sucker. I'm impossible to cheer up. I'm un-cheer-up-able. Uncheeruppable. What are - what are you even writing down?

[determinedest]

Nothing.

[They say it so sweetly too, chipper as a chipmunk. Completely innocent. Look at them. They are the pinnacle of innocence. A pinnocence.]

That's why dancing didn't make you happy at all, huh?

[fulllifeconsequences]

Dancing was your idea!!

[Look at this. Get a load of this pinnocence. It's 201X and this is the sort of tomfoolery Chara still has to put up with.

There is only one option. Clearly. They make a grab for the notebook. They must rip this list out and scrunch it up and - and... they don't know. Eat it. It's the Only Way. They gotta.]

[determinedest]

[Ohhhh no they don't! Frisk is a Grade-A dodger, and they even manage to finish the current item on their list with a flourish as they pull smoothly back and duck Chara's hands.]

And who enjoyed the heck out of themselves anyway, hm?

[fulllifeconsequences]

[This is the worst. Curse Frisk and their... whole... being better at dodging... ness!!]

Absolutely not me! You'd better not have put dancing on that list!

[They lunge for it again. Keep-away is totally not a game, but a serious and perilous contest of wills. Just, you know, for the record.]

[determinedest]

Yes! You cannot escape it! You will receive dancing for your birthday!

[They roll over, clutching the notebook flat to their chest so that it's pinned beneath them. Try and get at it now!]