determinedest | ic inbox

[Silence. Trailing ellipses. They... don't know how to answer.

They can't wrap their head around the idea. They care about Chara? Not a chance, right? Not a chance. Chara... was hurt? No, that can't be right either. Chara was scary. The biggest threat in the room. The one last obstacle to everyone making it out of this okay, just like every other timeline. They can't even begin to pick out how they felt, to try and assign order and clarity to that moment. It's... there were names being said, they think, and they recognized people being scared, and there was a hand on their shoulder.]

They care about you. I'm... I'm pretty sure about that. They tried really hard.

...Always the human children who have to keep it together, right?

I don't know what happened after I died. I wish I could say, but...I think that they wouldn't have tried to help you if they didn't care a little bit, right?

[After all, Frisk was dead at that point. They were dead and there were no appearances to be maintained on anyone's behalf. No pretending to care, no pretending not to hurt people.

And still, everyone else got out all right. That's a good thing, right?]

[They don't know, but... they sort of think if the Pines hadn't been there, it would have been easy. Easy to cut down Alphys for not saying Frisk's name, for shirking away in fear from them, for their own wild misplaced fury and bewilderment that the whole entire world just ended, in Chara's eyes, but it all still kept going. That nobody mourned the human child, that nobody stopped. Easy to cut down Sans for failing to keep his promise, just like he always fails to keep it, for every time he wears that stupid smile has he says they haven't died even once, right? Easy to be furious that he waits for them to go back like it's their job to fix it, like it's all just about a timeline where Papyrus is fine, like it doesn't matter what dying feels like for Frisk, because dying is their job.

They shift a little. No more being sprawled out on the floor, wide-open. They roll away from Frisk, curl in on themselves.

They want to ask Frisk if being dead felt different that time. If it was lonelier. If they heard anyone trying to pull them back, trying to keep them determined, or if it was only darkness and silence and wind rushing around them.

They don't.]

Gonna invite them to your birthday? They're turning 14. They're not growing up either, but they're already teenagers.

'Course! They're our friends.

[They're turning fourteen. Aging is weird here. Never mind the questions of how old Frisk and Chara are, really. They can't really say, so they stick with twelve. Except they'll be thirteen.

A teenager.]

I guess we'll be teenagers too, huh?

We'll have to move into the woods outside Snowdin. Only, we don't have any parents who'd bring us packed lunches, so we'll have to be like Snowy and mooch off of everyone else.

[Teens, man. That's how it works. It's science. They keep their back to Frisk, but they inject that mocking, just-kidding air into their voice again.]

We'll be officially too old to use "we're just kids" as an excuse.

You can be a teenager and a kid, right? Some people here are way older, and we must still seem like kids to them no matter what.

[Like Sans. They're not sure how old he is, or how old skeletons can get to be anyway, but he's got that world-weary disposition that most adults have, so they just kind of assumed he was basically an adult. And like Undyne and Alphys and Papyrus, though Papyrus seems more like a big brother than an adult in a lot of ways.]

Speak for yourself. I'm mature for my age. I don't think I've ever seemed like a kid to anyone.

[Not even themselves, honestly.]

Maybe we won't be allowed to wear striped shirts anymore. Wonder what the uniform is for teenagers. Plaid, maybe?

Polka-dots.

[Frisk grins at the mental image.]

Or heart-shapes, or teddy-bears.

[They look down at their shirt. Blue stripes on teal today. They don't want to give up stripes; they really like stripes. And they're pretty sure Chara doesn't want to give up stripes either.]

If those socks were your way of hinting that the teenager pattern of choice is going to be skeletons, then I'm already renouncing teenagerhood forever.

[You'd think they'd like wearing something as morbid as a skeleton, but considering their company around here... they think of the stupid smug jokes Sans would make, and how Papyrus would probably excitedly decide to wear little human patterns on his own clothes, and... they let out a short-lived little snort of laughter, more a puff of air than an actual giggle.]

[Oh dear, is Chara, the "enjoy-less demon," expressing amusement? It totally counts as a laugh. Frisk is counting it.]

Maybe that's the secret we've been missing all along! Humans - descended from skeletons, just like Papyrus said!

I mean... I guess you could argue that all humans become skeletons once they grow up enough, could you? You might be onto something.

[If anyone ever tore up that bed of golden flowers and started digging, they'd probably find out Chara's a skeleton right now - whoa. Whoa, too morbid. Way too morbid. Kind of gross. Reverse. Undo.]

Don't tell Papyrus.

[Really morbid, yeah, but Frisk is pretty bent on turning everything into a joke right now. It's that kind of lighthearted day.]

Why, there might even be a skeleton in the same room as you. Right now.

Nah. I doubt it. If there was, it'd smell a lot more like tomatoes.

[Stale crusty ketchup stains, marinara sauce dabbed behind an ear(?), take your pick. They let themselves uncurl again, return to lying on their back. Maybe kind of glance in Frisk's direction.]

I bet that's what your birthday cake will be. Cold spaghetti congealed into a cylinder, slathered in ketchup frosting.

Don't say that!

[But they're snickering as they say it, because well, that's exactly the sort of thing Papyrus would make.]

If that's my birthday cake, it's yours too. That means we both have to finish a delicious slice!

I'd love to, but alas. I am a demon, and demons cannot taste.

[At last, their cunning ruse comes to fruition.]

Anyway, I already know I'm not getting one. I don't need any worthless pity!

Oh, please. You'll get a chocolate something on that day. Everyone knows you like the taste.

What? No they don't!

[They got chocolate ice cream the date they came here. They asked for cocoa after they died. Was that enough of a tell? Did Max tell Souji tell everyone else, arrive at the shared consensus that Chara liked a thing? Or did Frisk go and blab?]

Nobody else saw the chocolate in Toriel's fridge. Nobody else knows I have a stash here. Nobody else ever heard me say no chocolate.

[Right? They're feeling embarrassed, they think - their face is feeling hot - but they can't even begin to guess why this is embarrassing.]

You're always carrying those bars around like we're gonna have a chocolate shortage at any minute!

[Maybe it was subtle at first, but they know quite a few people who happen to be more observant than either of them give them credit for.]

Our friends have eyes you know.

Since when were they "our" friends?!

[Chara rolls over again. This time, flipping onto their stomach so they can bury their face in their arms. They can duck behind their bangs or wear an inscrutable smile or use deceptive words all they like, but there's no undoing the tell of a far-too-rosy face.]

That's just - it's for emergencies. It's normal to keep something to eat in your inventory, right?

There's no escaping it. You've made friends.

[They say it teasingly, but they are honestly a little proud of the fact that, yes, whether Chara likes it or not, the Pines twins have more or less ended up as friends for both of them. And Papyrus, but Papyrus is everyone's friend.]

Not everyone has an inventory in their world!

Sure they do. They just call it pockets.

[Or purses, or backpacks, or whatever. It's easier to talk about than friends. Chara doesn't want to talk about friends. Chara can't understand anyone calling them a friend, Chara just starts to get uneasy about how inevitable hurting anyone who calls them a friend feels, Chara thinks it would be both smarter and safer to just opt to not feel anything about the matter.]

I know! You're just kind of...a little more obvious about it.

[Frisk hasn't forgotten Chara literally trying to shove stuff down their shirt for safekeeping.]

That's not a bad thing, you know. It means people will know what to get you.

[Chara is subtle and also a genius. How dare. They prop their face up on their elbows, look over out of the corner of their eye. Another of those sharp, sideways little looks, another bright smile.]

A little less optimism, a little more realism. Nobody's going to get me anything. I didn't even know when my alleged birthday was going to be until a few minutes ago. How would anyone else?

[Frisk simply grins wide.]

I'm allowed to have some secrets, aren't I?

[SQUINTING.]

What is that supposed to mean?

ic inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)