determinedest | ic inbox

You felt angry. Why should she get all that help when you didn't? When no one came for you, and she messed up too, she messed up big time, but she gets all this support and help and all these friends who love her, and you never had any of it?

[They stop to breathe.

They remember his words in New Home, talking fondly about playing here as he and Chara grew up. They remember all of it. Crying out for help, being unable to feel his arms or legs, trapped as a flower and hating every moment of it.

And nobody came. Not only that, when someone did come, he couldn't feel anything for them! What kind of justice is that?

Frisk breathes out.

They don't understand but they...understand. They grasp the basic ethos, at least.]

Because it didn't matter, did it? It was just a new timeline you could explore. A new reaction, so why not chase it to its completion?

i tried to go back to my SAVE. it failed. at the time, i didn't know why it failed. this felt different from all the other times i experimented. i don't know how to describe it.

but i'm not going to keep making excuses. alphys got hurt. everyone's angry. you and chara are freaked out and there's no telling if it'll happen again, if i lose it again.

you're not safe around me.

i

i've never seen chara that worried before.

You don't have the human SOULs with you anymore. You can't SAVE.

[At least, they think that's why. Based on the way he's been bleeding into Flowey semi-regularly, they'd predict as much.]

Of course they were worried! They love you.

I know it's hard to get past it. But we will. We've gotten through worse.

apparently not.

[And he figured it out way too late. Too late to really fix any of this. So used to just reloading SAVEs and doing it differently and maybe it'll be fine then, right?]

i'm probably going to have to tell everyone the truth. if this keeps happening.

i don't care if everyone is mad or wants nothing to do with me. as long as they're all safe, that's... that's what really matters, doesn't it?

but i'm sorry. i'm sorry for dragging you into this, freaking out chara, alphys. i'm sorry.

You didn't drag us into anything. You're still a little lost and we have to help you. That's all. You matter too. Never forget that.

do you want me to be there with you when you tell them?

[They're honestly not sure what to say. They feel so...so inadequate. And here they're supposed to be the friend he always wanted!]

trying to rip off her head and blow my neck open isn't a 'little' lost, frisk.

[Desperate. Scared. Things going wrong and he just needed a way out but the bullets stopped coming. Bones shielding his neck. Papyrus' warm arms around him even though he almost just murdered--]

I don't

I don't know what I want

i want to go away

You can't.

[Their heart aches. They almost - they know that feeling. They almost did the same. Just to make it all stop. Chara helped them plan, but they were just feeding into feelings that already existed. Frisk already hated themselves. They just needed a little nudge.]

You messed up. That doesn't make you a bad person.

Remember what I said back at home? I forgive you. I'll always forgive you. Sometimes I mess up, or Chara messes up, or Alphys messes up. All of us mess up. But I'll love you all anyway, and we'll all help each other get through it. Okay?

[How? How do they keep just... forgiving him like this? He turned into a literal nightmare. He was half a second away from murdering their friend, when he was supposed to be better here! He was supposed to be in control! Still, they offer nothing but kindness and he has a feeling the others won't... won't be the same.

Saying he couldn't help it, he couldn't think straight, that anger fueled every action wasn't an excuse. He's responsible. He caused damage, he needs to fix it.]

Please, Frisk. Please. Don't ever let me do that again.

I've hurt people too. And so has Chara. So has everyone. None of us are perfect but the point is that we're supposed to get through it.

[Don't let him.

No one lets people like them do anything.]

Should we maybe set up some kind of system, maybe? Like, every time you feel something wrong you can let one of us know?

[Surely it's that simple!]

That's... that's the thing. It didn't feel wrong.

It didn't feel like anything at all.

[Maybe it was somewhat liberating. That's not good.]

With you and Chara, it's... different timelines. Sometimes you hurt people, but sometimes you make up for it in the next one, too. With me, I just always hurt. I always take away. No matter what you do, I'll come back to ruin what you've built up.

I'm always the flower.

I'm always going to hurt people.

They know it, Frisk. And once I explain things, they're gonna know even more.

Don't say that. You saved us. You saved everyone. They never would have gotten out if it weren't for you. And you still feel things, don't you? You feel regret for this, or you wouldn't be talking to me now.

You've felt panic, and fear. Haven't you?]

[Please don't kill me.]

Chara thinks the same, you know. They think they'll never do anything but hurt people. But they keep proving that wrong, even if they won't admit it.

I think you can prove yourself wrong too.

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