determinedest | ic inbox

[Calm down. Calm down. Be reasonable, Chara. Don't fly off the handle, don't be so dramatic, don't be such a kid. Frisk takes their hand, and their grip in response is white-knuckled and fierce, still full of the wild, anguished adrenaline that spurs them to erupt.]

He's... he didn't. It's... he's alive, he's fine.

["Fine." Ha ha. Look what you taught him, Chara. Look what you drove him to.]

He says it's already over, he... haha, he just made spaghetti instead.

[The skeletons found him. Pure fluke. What does it say if they've hurt him badly enough he ended up going to Sans for comfort and security? What... what would have happened if coincidence hadn't sent Papyrus and Sans to him?

A corpse falling from arms that are already fading. The jostle of impact shaking sticky golden flower seeds off of the body. Dust raining down on them, nourishing them, feeding the first of the flowers from the outside world.

Please don't kill me, the phone screen pleads, and their silence almost kills him.]

...Um.

[They smile, and they aim it at nowhere in particular. Reasonable, rational, calm. Be mature about this, Chara. Maybe... maybe he didn't want them to tell. Maybe he's only going to feel worse, now that Frisk and Toriel know. Maybe they've been cruel again.]

Forgive me, ma'am. I... suppose I overreacted.

[Ha! No big deal, right! Just... almost lost him again, you know, and it would have once again been all because of Chara. Just one of those little things that happens sometimes, right? Sometimes, you teach a kid who's happy and loving and innocent to do things like erase himself or view pain as a way to vent some frustration! Ha ha! Whoopsie doodles!!]

[The hand in theirs hurts, but Frisk almost doesn't notice, with Chara having...having panicked like this. So badly that they cast the lock the ground as if it were nothing. Just needed something to hold, something to - to hurt.

They know that feeling too well. It's probably best that Chara didn't succeed, though even in the dim light, there's the shadow of bruising on Chara's knuckles, and Frisk's stomach twists. Didn't fully succeed then.]

You weren't overreacting. If he...I didn't know that he...

[Stupid to think so. What was it he said to them? He tried to follow in Chara's footsteps. Erase himself from existence. Didn't see the point.

And that was when he was empty. When you're full of love, of life, of emotions that all conflict and crash together, it gets even worse.]

You think we should maybe - [Hastily, they revise that statement. Toriel may not view them as a blatant threat anymore, but they won't cross any boundaries if they're not welcome.] - or, or someone should - should check on him? If he's feeling that bad...

Frisk is right- I do not think there is a proper way to react to news like that... I promise, I will find some way to resolve the situation. For now though...

[She looks around at their room- the sun's not up yet, but... somehow, she feels like Chara won't be getting back to sleep tonight.]

Perhaps you would like to come help me make breakfast, Chara? Or I can bring you something. Maybe a book? Whatever you would like to do, Chara. You can ask Asriel if he would like to join us.

[Toriel would text him herself, but... Asriel must already be going through a lot. Don't want to bombard him with messages when Chara's already talking to them. She'll talk to him a bit later, after he's gotten some time to himself.]

[Asked to make a choice. They feel so scrambled, so utterly in bits, that they just stare, take far too long to reach a decision on what should be a very simple question to answer. Their choice made it worse, after all, didn't it? They crumbled, and it almost cost Asriel his life. Just like back home, right?

The comfort of a kitchen beckons to them. The grounding, soothing order of clear steps to follow, of focusing on doing something with your hands. Don't be alone, don't be tempted to pick up where you left off and beat yourself back into some semblance of order. Think they want to keep holding on to...

Oh. Um. Bite their lip, order their grip on Frisk's hand to ease up. Why are they always so vicious? Why is it painful force that comes to them instinctively instead of gentleness? Horrible. Absolutely horrible.]

I... he's better now, but I don't think... Asriel should have to be alone. But I also don't think I should see him. I don't... I don't want to make it worse again.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want.

I don't think you're making anything worse, Chara.

[They shouldn't give themselves so much credit, after all - every one of them was a little messed up to start with, Frisk thinks. The combination of them together, though...

They're all kind of their own separate time bombs, aren't they?]

I can check on him, or...or Toriel can. If it's that bad, maybe it'd help.

It is late- having me barging in on them now, unprovoked as far as they know could be... uncomfortable for them, I think.

I will talk to Asriel later. For now, you can go ahead and keep messaging them- allow them to sleep if they need be.

[Toriel pauses as she looks down at Chara clinging to Frisk's hand. Had considered offering a hug, but... don't want to force Chara to choose between her and their friend.]

You can take as long as you need to think about it, Chara. I will help in any way that I can.

[One hand in Frisk's, the other clutching their phone. Keeps them from reaching for a Locket they have no right to cradle, no right to be grounded by. Remember to breathe. Breathe. Don't be the least chill person in the room. Don't be crazy, Chara.]

...You're right. It's a pretty unreasonable hour of the morning. Let's make breakfast, shall we?

[There. Nice and calm. Doubt they'd get any knife duty, but it wouldn't be so bad to get a few things out of their system cracking eggs or... or maybe they could knead bread dough until their arms are sore.

Deep breath. Hold, count to three, release. They let go of Frisk's hand, shuffle to Toriel. ...Immediately look back at Frisk.]

Do you want to come with...? Or... or see if Asriel's... um. You're safe for him. He feels like you're safe.

Maybe, but...

[They glance furtively in Toriel's direction, as if asking her permission. They'd understand, after all, if she wouldn't feel safe having them around her child.

But they squeeze Chara's hand a little tighter, just for a moment, a brief little pulse of comfort.]

You guys can go make breakfast, if you want. I can make sure, he's...

[They bend, scoop up the remains of the bike lock and twist it between the fingers of their free hand.]

I mean, we could always give him this?

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