determinedest | ic inbox

You know he would never leave without bringing you and Sans along. Obviously, it just happens. This place must chew you up and spit you out whenever it feels like it. Not when you decide to go.

You are not in control anymore, Frisk.

Does that scare you?

Does it scare you? [They ask, with a dubious lift of an eyebrow. Who wouldn't it scare? Chara's kind of a singular case, though, so maybe they shouldn't be using Chara as a reliable metric for...well, anything.]

[What a stupid question. Their helplessness made them try to jump headfirst into hell. Their control slipped even when they had power, cost them and their brother their lives. Made them stand there helplessly as the people Chara hated more than anything beat the life right out of a pair of kids tangled up into one body. Losing control cost them blessed oblivion, and end to this story and an escape to... to whatever came next.

They stopped being afraid that they were a bad person. Not having control was the only thing left to be afraid of! Of course it was terrifying! Look how much it cost Chara!

But. They just smile. Shrug. Laugh it off.]

Not at all. When you have nothing to go back to, it doesn't matter where you are!

I guess that's a good point.

[It would've been easy. That's pretty straightforward, and Frisk can see the logic in that. There wasn't a lot left for Chara by the time they reached the end. Even Asriel had decided his old sibling was better left buried. Don't you have anything better to do?]

Is here any better? From where you're standing, I mean.

You forget so easily, Frisk!

i'm the type of person who won't EVER be happy.

This is temporary. Just another world to claw through. What's the point of paying enough attention to it to tell if it's better or worse?

[They certainly look awfully happy most of the time.

Then again, we all wear ~~sprites~~ masks.]

Maybe there's something worthwhile here. You'll never know if you don't look.

Like there was something worthwhile on the surface, right? That's why we fell.

Oh, wait, no! Like there was something worthwhile in the Underground! Fun while it lasted, huh?

A worse world. A better world. They both hurt, in the end. Don't they? You got attatched and lost it all, or you let it wound you bad enough that you chose to disappear.

But. Frisk. If it's just a world. If it's just obstacles to overcome. You don't even have to notice what shape they have. Just close your eyes, tune it out, and finish the job.

Sounds kind of boring. And repetitive.

[They close the gap between the door and their bed and boost themselves onto it.]

And lonely.

[Chara laughs.]

So's dying, but that sure didn't stop either of us.

I know.

[Their hand almost goes to their neck, to the locket that isn't there, a convulsive twitch of fingers.]

I started regretting it after the first time. Did you?

What do you think.

[Not a question. No question mark. Their words are sharp and very red.]

[For a long moment, Frisk says nothing.]

I think you're more scared than you want to admit.

[They don't care for the silence, but they care for the answer even less. They fill the room with their laughter again, an awful and insincere sound.]

Interesting. Scared of what, exactly?

Of acting any other way. Believing anything else. You don't think there's any going back for you.

[Silence.

You're not really human, are you? No. You're empty inside. Just like me. In fact... you're Chara, right?

my brother'd really like to see a human... so, y'know, it'd really help me out... if you kept pretending to be one.

Human. No, WHATEVER you are.

Memories. Tune it out, but the mind still records. Like... ha ha. Like a camera with the lens cap on. Was it so surprising they'd rejected every one of Papyrus' naive simpering words? Was it so surprising that Sans' idea of mercy was wiping them out? They knew what they were. So did everyone else. Pretending otherwise. It was just getting annoying, wasn't it?]

There isn't. But I'm not scared of that at all, Frisk. I embrace my purpose, now that I realize it.

You can't know that.

[Sometimes lines don't exist until you draw them.]

What makes you think there's no going back?

Because we tried it your way, didn't we?

[Chara -- or Frisk -- or Chara and Frisk -- we, I, they? Someone reached for mercy, and Sans told them if they were really friends, they'd never come back. They did it all oh-so-perfect. Spared them all. Seems everyone is perfectly happy.]

You thought it was enough, didn't you? That I'd go away. Even I thought maybe it would be enough.

[The Underground would go empty. Everyone else was SAVED. Maybe Chara didn't need to be SAVED themselves, if everyone else was happy now. Maybe this was what their being SAVED looked like. Someone else doing what they'd failed so horrendously to do. Maybe what was left of them could sleep, could linger over the golden flowers with Asriel.]

But it wasn't. Not for me.

[Not exactly the greatest person.]

There's nothing to go back to. I must have always been empty. All it took was twenty minutes with a real person for him to realize I wasn't fit to be his friend.

[Their fingers have found the locket. Somehow, they wish it would stop beating. It feels heavy around their neck.]

Weren't you awake enough to notice, Frisk? Nobody thought I was human. Humans are the very worst thing there is, and they knew I was something even worse than that.

Maybe if you try not killing people, you might actually enjoy it.

[Not to say that it's all Chara's fault for being the way they are, because something must've caused it. But after hitting that threshold, that point of no return, Chara must have also decided that there simply wasn't a going back after that. And Frisk isn't in the habit of believing that.]

[Chara almost rolls their eyes, but instead opts to not react at all. They let the locket go. They sit down on their bed.]

Nah.

[It's a complete and utter non-response. A stark contrast from how much they let be coaxed out of them a second ago. But you know what? Heard it before. Blah blah kill or be killed am bad thing for bad people blah bloo bloo don't do a violence. Like it's that simple and effortless, like LOVE is the only bad thing you can take from someone, like that's all it takes. Like it had never occurred to Chara before to try and be good.]

I don't enjoy anything.

[Frisk, for their part, says nothing, but simply curls up on the bed and turns away. They doubt Chara wants to hear any more of Frisk's particular flavor of bland optimism, and forming a SAVE file right outside their door was last on the list of things they wanted to do, right up there with arguing with the sadistic brick wall they get to call their roommate.

It'll take a lot more than some butterscotch pie and flowers to fix this. A lot more.]

ic inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject